Hawaii claim

From a dependent claim in a software patent application that at first glance appears idiotic, but isn't. The application deals with methods for electronically transmitting files - U.S. Pat. App. 20070226345, "Automated document processing with third part input". Claim 7 reads: 7. The method of claim 1, wherein the terminal is located in Hawaii. Huh!? Who cares where a terminal is located in a distributed processing method and system? The PTO cares: [0005] For certain patent related filings, such as an RCE, the filing may be made later if faxed from a later time zone with a Certificate of Facsimile Transmission. So if you are in the continental U.S., and it is past midnight, just send your document to a lawyer's terminal in Hawaii, and have the lawyer fax it to the PTO from their time zone. Groovy! But not encompassing enough. Alaska is behind Pacific Coast Time as well, so the claim could have just as easily read "in Hawaii or Alaska". Anyway, one place where a really narrow claim make sense. Unfortunately, the claim is invalid based on prior art. Someone contributed this: John White of PLI always tells his prospective Patent Bar students that if everything else fails, you could open shop above the post office in Hawaii, and fax/mail responses, apps etc. for others to the USPTO! (I theard it in 2001). and If any one wants prior public use on the fax by third party from Hawaii, I did that in 1997 when my printer broke down and I was 15 minutes late to the Minneapolis airport 24 hour Post Office. Went back to the office, called Kinko's in Honolulu, faxed them the filing and paid them $100 to drive to airport and put it into Express Mail to get my date! :) The filewrapper (a public document) will contain all of the documentation for this anticipatory transaction - the first time a filewrapper itself qualifies as prior art.

Last minute sermons: the source

Busy Christian ministers and teachers find that they simply have no time to write sermons, they can always turn to www.lastminutesermon.com, a site started by Bob Austin. He started the site to provide a last-minute service for a clergyman in need of a sound, ready-to-deliver sermon. A typical sermon offered on the site can be preached in between eight to ten minutes, and costs about $12.50 to download. The site’s sample sermon preaches the essence of a Passover in Jerusalem 2000 years ago. Austin goes on to preach that then, Jews awaited the arrival of their messiah, who would, according to Austin, bring in their Golden Age by vanquishing the nations of the world and installing an everlasting kingdom of David. Prior to that Passover, however, Jesus had arrived on a donkey, signifying that he was that messiah but not the military(?) one. The crowds, according to Austin, were bitterly disappointed, and feeling cheated out of the military victories, turned their backs on Jesus and asked the Roman rulers to crucify him. The sample download says that with the destruction of the Temple came the end of animal sacrifices, which was God’s demonstrating his never-changing, unending love for humanity. Romans, maintaining law and order, had to comply with the public sentiment and crucify the troublemaker. After all, they crucified hundreds of Jews years before just to make sure the crowds would learn the lesson and forget the idea of rebelling against the Roman rule. Austin says that preachers are getting bogged down with their shepherding tasks as the writing of sermons is gradually sliding down the list of the daily priorities, leaving the clergyman without a sermon to deliver on Sunday. Sermons downloaded from the site come with a permission to be edited to suit the tastes of the flock. The site has a very simple structure: there is The Author, the FAQ, Free Sample, Contact and How To Buy. Excellent business idea: monetize the church.

Creative writing with New Year Cards

I have a bunch of greeting cards from the years I used to make fun of people on Chinese New Years. I would write something like this

and ever since use the out-of-season Chinese New Year cards for reminders, convoluted greetings, hints, comments, and otherwise absurd, Ionesco-Waiting For Godot humorous messages. Imagine how many occasions, people, developments, promotions can be congratulated with a well-developed connection to a Horse (“You’ve been a drafthorse long enough…”), Pig (“Piglet”, see below), Rabbit (“Please, Bre’r Fox, do whatever you want, but don’t throw me into that briar patch…”), Tiger (“The Catwoman has met her Big Cousin”)

Last year, after I missed the year of the Pig, on one card I had rewritten the entire passage from Milne’s Winnie the Pooh. “The Piglet went for a brief walk to visit Eeyore, when, on the way, Piglet sensed the presence of great many bees. Knowing that Winnie The Pooh was a distinguished walk-up apartment dweller, Piglet deduced that a foreigner must have appropriated all the honey and set up his penthouse in the crown of the Great Oak Tree. Congratulations on your debutante’s studio loft. I will be more than overjoyed to be the bartender at your housewarming party.”

Though I really prefer standard New Year cards, especially with fireworks on them. This one is my favorite, fireworks in Las Vegas

I found this one at Custom Photo Cards, it has that you-are-there at the fireworks feel to it.

this one I found on their page here.

The New Year’s firework cards have a great advantage: you can send them out just about any occasion – a steady girlfriend, brand new position, a reason to open the stashed bottle of champagne, watch the 4^th of July fireworks from the hot tub, thanks for a wonderful evening. And you can write on the balls of fire themselves, or on the black – with pearly, metal flake nail polish. To the "Happy New Year" you can always add "Of Loft Living", "Of Being Away from folks," etc.