Atheist sees Big Bang in a piece of toast

I would expect a superstitious person to imagine things in everyday objects, but here is a scientist going through the revelation experience. I found it in the ACPA London news articles.

Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following news that a local man saw an image not of God or a saint but that of the Big-Bang in a piece of toast. Atheist Donald Chapman, 36, told local newspaper, "The Huddlesfield Express" that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.

"I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring. However the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs and the changing shades emanating outwards from the black hole were very clearly similar to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the Big-Bang". "It's the beginning of the world" he added excitedly.

Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an Atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding" said one guest at the Huddlesfield Arms hotel.

To the surprise of many, the UK National Atheist Association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell" said one disgruntled activist who said he was going to Huddlesfield anyway noting that "Seeing is not believing".

Last minute sermons: the source

Busy Christian ministers and teachers find that they simply have no time to write sermons, they can always turn to www.lastminutesermon.com, a site started by Bob Austin. He started the site to provide a last-minute service for a clergyman in need of a sound, ready-to-deliver sermon. A typical sermon offered on the site can be preached in between eight to ten minutes, and costs about $12.50 to download. The site’s sample sermon preaches the essence of a Passover in Jerusalem 2000 years ago. Austin goes on to preach that then, Jews awaited the arrival of their messiah, who would, according to Austin, bring in their Golden Age by vanquishing the nations of the world and installing an everlasting kingdom of David. Prior to that Passover, however, Jesus had arrived on a donkey, signifying that he was that messiah but not the military(?) one. The crowds, according to Austin, were bitterly disappointed, and feeling cheated out of the military victories, turned their backs on Jesus and asked the Roman rulers to crucify him. The sample download says that with the destruction of the Temple came the end of animal sacrifices, which was God’s demonstrating his never-changing, unending love for humanity. Romans, maintaining law and order, had to comply with the public sentiment and crucify the troublemaker. After all, they crucified hundreds of Jews years before just to make sure the crowds would learn the lesson and forget the idea of rebelling against the Roman rule. Austin says that preachers are getting bogged down with their shepherding tasks as the writing of sermons is gradually sliding down the list of the daily priorities, leaving the clergyman without a sermon to deliver on Sunday. Sermons downloaded from the site come with a permission to be edited to suit the tastes of the flock. The site has a very simple structure: there is The Author, the FAQ, Free Sample, Contact and How To Buy. Excellent business idea: monetize the church.