Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Creative writing with New Year Cards

I have a bunch of greeting cards from the years I used to make fun of people on Chinese New Years. I would write something like this

and ever since use the out-of-season Chinese New Year cards for reminders, convoluted greetings, hints, comments, and otherwise absurd, Ionesco-Waiting For Godot humorous messages. Imagine how many occasions, people, developments, promotions can be congratulated with a well-developed connection to a Horse (“You’ve been a drafthorse long enough…”), Pig (“Piglet”, see below), Rabbit (“Please, Bre’r Fox, do whatever you want, but don’t throw me into that briar patch…”), Tiger (“The Catwoman has met her Big Cousin”)

Last year, after I missed the year of the Pig, on one card I had rewritten the entire passage from Milne’s Winnie the Pooh. “The Piglet went for a brief walk to visit Eeyore, when, on the way, Piglet sensed the presence of great many bees. Knowing that Winnie The Pooh was a distinguished walk-up apartment dweller, Piglet deduced that a foreigner must have appropriated all the honey and set up his penthouse in the crown of the Great Oak Tree. Congratulations on your debutante’s studio loft. I will be more than overjoyed to be the bartender at your housewarming party.”

Though I really prefer standard New Year cards, especially with fireworks on them. This one is my favorite, fireworks in Las Vegas

I found this one at Custom Photo Cards, it has that you-are-there at the fireworks feel to it.

this one I found on their page here.

The New Year’s firework cards have a great advantage: you can send them out just about any occasion – a steady girlfriend, brand new position, a reason to open the stashed bottle of champagne, watch the 4th of July fireworks from the hot tub, thanks for a wonderful evening. And you can write on the balls of fire themselves, or on the black – with pearly, metal flake nail polish. To the "Happy New Year" you can always add "Of Loft Living", "Of Being Away from folks," etc.

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